Jason's book available on Amazon.com as an ebook!

At last Jason's book Prison Life InsideOUT Letters from Prison is available online at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005HYDM0O for Kindle for $7.95.  

It will soon be available online in print as well.

 

March 13, 2011

“I have to be punished for some mess I had nothing to do with, again.”

7:48 p.m.

Don’t want you to grow tired of me thanking you, but I must show my appreciation, although words don’t quite do it. Jeeze, I was-am thrilled with the dictionary and the thesaurus, but the other three books leave me speechless! You really are wonderful! It’s a shame that I’ve been asking my family about a dictionary for nearly four years, yet I complain once and you send me both, and excellent versions at that. All of the books are in mint condition, not a crack in the spines, not a bent page. No one has ever opened those books. Thank you!

It has been an eventful week. I finally heard from my mom, though it didn’t make me feel very good. ): I love me, that’s going to have to be enough.

I do feel much better. I didn’t actually get a real cry in, but it was a much needed wake-up call. After the fact, I realized that your love for me forced me to see the lack of love from others and that was just too ugly a revelation. No, I’m not blaming you or implying that you did something wrong. It’s just that since the day you walked into my life, you’ve not left my side. You set the bar pretty high, which is good, great! Still, it makes me makes me sick to my stomach that I can depend on you more than my family. Perhaps I used to be a horrible person and I just don’t remember. Or maybe they see me as a lost cause? Either way, I’ve worked so hard to make them proud, and succeeded in making myself proud, but failed them.

Your ability to believe in me…you encourage me to believe in myself, that’s priceless!

Yes, I have a pen that writes now. I was complaining to a friend (one of the very few) and he said that was unacceptable and gave me his pen on the spot. He is supportive of my writing so I share with him.

Actually, I wrote two blogs last night. I was writing one about how I wish I could always be happy, but that’s not humanly possible. Then, the “Eses” beat up one of their own. It was ugly and unfair, and it took me to a darker place. Taking your advice, I wrote. Sleep couldn’t hold those words at bay as they surged forward. Long time comin’.

It’s good to know that you’ll be a calm head when I freak out. After that letter was gone, I worried that you might think me crazy. What a relief to have someone understand and care, in a place where it’s so easy to feel forgotten, your kindness is unheard of.

Ironically, you are my best friend! This all feels so surreal. In relation to the drama in my life, this feels like a dream, actually stepping out into the world again…as words.

Right now we’re locked down. Yes, again! Always. I hate this bastard warden. Last night’s fight had something to do with Mexican Mafia and Houstone Tango Blast and some moron snitched, so we are locked down. I guess until they investigate. So I have to be punished for some mess I had nothing to do with, again.

These guys are like little kids. Only in here does a fight stand for something. People in the world don’t fist fight. Not where I’m from, they don’t. You disrespect someone, they shoot you. END. I keep telling these guys that they are going to get killed if they go out there thinking they can beat the world up. People don’t fight anymore, they kill. And if they don’t kill you, you’re going to jail.

The ebooks sound awesome! I’ve been wondering if this prehistoric state is going to ever let us have any sort of technology. Magazines are going out of business, books are obsolete. The future (for me) is exciting and frightening. You give me an incentive to crank out plenty of pages.

Your hugs are received and needed. Rest assured, I’m better, focusing on the positive. Let me close this one and spend some time with God. As always, I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,

March 15, 2011

“Because of your belief in me, I believe in myself.”

9:11 p.m.

You are simply amazing! Do you mind if I just state every letter like that? That could be my everyday greeting. Or maybe “You’re awesome!” Either way, you are.

So, today they let us off of lockdown (again). Lockdown, lockdown, lockdown! (“Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”) It sounds silly, but I just want to do my time. I mean, I don’t want to, but I have to, and it would make it so much simpler if they’d just leave me alone. This collective punishment is crap. Blend guys who want to do right and go home, with idiots who don’t care about themselves or anyone else, then punish everyone when the idiots mess up. That’s so stupid.

Then, the administration tried to make it a race issue, claiming that “a bunch of Black dudes” jumped on a Hispanic because he can’t handle his liquor. But one must expect the lines of reality to get twisted in a place of perversion. Guess their “investigation” gave them proof that the incident was resolved. I sure hope it is. I’m sick of doing other people’s time!

Mail time came along and washed away all the tension of my day. I got the BIG card with the beautiful pictures. I guess these particular pictures aren’t just my favorite ones. You definitely know how to spread joy.

I also got a letter from you today. Thank you for your concern and your everlasting kindness! I have my moments, but friends like you won’t allow me to stay down. Be glad I can’t email you. I’d “blong” your mail all day.

You know, I’ve always been told that I had a talent for writing, but I’ve never really believed in myself…until now. I feel free when I write, and I know in my heart that good will come of it. Hopefully your assessment is accurate and people will be hooked. The haters I’m used to, but positive feedback would be a welcome change. Your encouraging words give me even more confidence. Confidence is major. Because of your belief in me, I believe in myself.

In the past there’s always been something or another holding me back. Lack of dictionary, lack of proper editing skills, lack of publisher, lack of someone to shop publishers, lack of typewriter (because I don’t have the supportive cast I now have), so typing it here was the only option. I even considered paying one of those women in the magazines who type for a fee, but someone told me that if they stole my writing, I couldn’t do jack about it. Of course, I trust you. And there is nothing holding me back. Why?

Because you’re sending me a whole tree! Goodness! The few times my family sent paper, it was like 10 pads. Again. I can’t thank you enough! Jeeze. Don’t even know where I’ll put that much paper but I’ll figure it out. Guess the best thing to do would be to crank it out, write like a man possessed. I hope you got a really good deal. I know you did it to help me, but I didn’t want you spending all that money on me.

I’m grateful beyond words. I just don’t want to be a burden. Anyhow, I’ll make it worth it. I’ll make you proud. And if it helps, the legal pads cost $1.50 a piece for 50 sheets. I know you got a better deal than that. I’ll express mail you when I get them.

All of the books were received. I got the excellent dictionary and thesaurus. (I have not looked up a word I didn’t find!) The novels I received were the two books about Africa by Wilbur Smith and Centennial by James Michener. I haven’t begun reading them yet. I’m saving them…if you understand that. Trust me, it won’t be long before they lock us down again. ):

Yes, I’m enjoying the back to back letters, too. Your theory is dead on, you brighten my day every time I hear from you. You are consistent, kind and genuine. There was a lady from California who wrote twice and other who writes every blue moon. You’ve been there, growing closer all the time, pushing me forward instead of holding me back.

I don’t mean to imply that I expect you guys to publish anything free of charge. I’m just saying that I have no money, all I have is my talent. Any level of success would great from my standpoint. It would be really great to show people that when they didn’t believe in me, someone did. 

I do look forward to your husband’s blogs. There was something I wanted to ask him from the last one. I’ll have to go back and reread it so the question will come to mind.

Glad the weather there is nice. It’s been decent here, but too up and down. Chilly one day, then humid the next. Perfect “cold” weather. Good thing I rarely get sick.

Ahh, the rabbits seem to have gone to greener pastures, or perhaps, less garlic smelling pastures. I know the cayenne pepper works with cats. We had some that used to pee in my mom’s elephant ears and kaladiums? Paladiums? (Duh…dictionary) Caladiums. Anyhow, Momma would sprinkle cayenne and keep the cats away.

Me, I’d lure the rabbits in, pressure cook all the grainy toughness out of the meat and make a beautiful stew. Eat my grass, I eat your….tail.

The longer days give me more time to work out, but my body has not fully adjusted either. I’ve been sluggish for a few days. Gotta’ get in a good rep tomorrow. Maybe that’ll set me straight. 

Well, I better hit the hay. Who knows what tomorrow holds. Could be anything around this camp.

I wrote a really deep and brutally honest blog last night but one of my few respected associates would be upset if I sent it off without letting him check it out. (He’s a fan) So I’ll send it later this week. Not that you have a shortage of them to work with. I go in spurts. Right now I’m in a good one.

Be looking for my hugs and I’ll be waiting for yours.

Big hugs and smiles,

Blog   For Her

My Dear, my Love,

Lady,  how do you do?  Guess it’s painfully clever I’ve been thinking about you.  Baby, it’s been too long, much too long, what a shame.  I should not be on fire since you’re an old flame.

So appropriately named, Ebonie…my Ebonie Queen.  Queen?  Queen!  Please!  I’m down on my knees!  Love, you surpass want, you Love, are a need.  Cause I can’t continue as a me when my mind’s eye can we.  She was what she was, but Love…love is just love, except when it’s LOVE. 

Better than sex, even better than drugs, you set me on fire whenever we hug.  Just a touch is enough to engulf me in bliss, consumed by your spell, entranced by your lips.  And your kiss is like nectar from God’s favorite bloom.  I’m closer to heaven when you’re in the room.  Or my mind, or afar, in my heart you’re engraved.  The love of a lifetime, decades past a phase.

I’m a slave, you’re my master.  I’m captured in rapture.  Love bound and set free by the sound of your laughter.  Like woodwinds and strings on the wings of a cloud, face held high and warm in the rays of your smile.

Girl you reached thorugh my flesh, through my bones, to my soul, to the core!  I need more!  Boo I’m hooked, I’m addicted, a fiend!  Just a fool for your love, Love, my Ebonie Queen.