May 1, 2011 10:08 PM
Hello, hello, hello! Ha! Good mood right now. I’ll respond to your letter before I share. Hold tight.
Yeah, I’m glad you liked the card! That’s probably the best work I’ve seen Scott do.
Yes, thank you again for everything! It’s just like I imagined, the surge of confidence that comes with the book…it’s unreal. And everywhere I go, people are asking me a million questions. It’s cool though.
Umm, I know you’re offering so I won’t put up a fuss. I only need two copies. One for myself and one for the library. Everyone keeps asking when and where they can buy it, so let’s let them buy it.
I was thinking about my grandmother, but assume she’ll be pleased to buy a copy.
Oprah? Really? Wow!
Well, as of now, I’m waiting on the job still. The new doctor took my bottom row restriction so they’ll probably move me to another floor soon. I’m going to have to fight to get it back. My single cell is lost too. I’m adjusting. My celly is decent. The one before him was a little girl who never wanted to leave the cell, never bathe, smelled, and he ended up checking out because he owed somebody $45. I was happy to get rid of that coward. I was on the verge of breaking his neck. He was nasty, pissed all over the toilet seat then threw a wad of tissue on the pee, didn’t wash his hands, just crawled back in bed. Bastard.
Whatever happens, my address will stay the same, just a different cell and or cellblock.
Man, I’m tired, three hours of sleep in the last two days. Better sleep now and get back to you later.
Enclosed is a surprise. (blog on “The How I Got Here”) Hopefully it works for you. Use it however you like, but it’s what happened. Took a lot out of me too, but it feels good to have it out!
Love,
May 2, 2011 11:23 pm
WOW! It has dropped back down to near freezing! I’m so cold, jacket on, bundled up in the bed, shivering. Everybody around me is sick, it’s crazy,
Of course, I got a letter from you today! It’s beautiful to know that someone is always thinking about me. However, it will be good when I can call. Right now we’re missing each other on the letters.
As anxious as I am to get the book out there, I want it to be the best it can be, and the chapter I sent off to you this morning would definitely add to the book. You were right and I was wrong. “The How I Got Here” story was needed. Hopefully you didn’t listen to me.
Also, I caught a few more errors that I want to check on. Like before, they are all do to my handwriting. I’m going to have to purchase a typewriter if for no other reason than to save you from straining from reading chicken scratch.
Love the cover letters. (for books being sent for marketing) You think of everything! The only thing that bothers me is where it says that the proceeds will go to me. I mean, it’s true, but I do plan on setting up something for my kids. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but maybe we can mention something about my kids, because I am going to work hard so I can provide for them. It’s your call, I just…I don’t know. A father’s love.
And you know I’m so in love with Rachel Ray! I would love her just possibly reading the book! You are on top of everything though.
Get paid, network, expand. You guys are doing great!
Um, you asked about local papers…The Houston paper is The Houston Chronicle, the Austin paper is The Austin American Statesman. Great tactics!
I’d really better get to bed. No telling what tomorrow brings.
Love,
Blog One Day
How can I be so critical of a people whom I once belonged to? How can I despise that which I once was? And how is it that even through my drastic and dramatic change I can recognize the fool that I used to be?
Well, I don’t have all the answers; I don’t even have half of the answers. But the precious few that I do have, set me apart from the pack. Far apart. In this brutal half a decade, I’ve become a completely different person, while retaining my beneficial characteristics. I’ll be honest, the improvement has been great, perhaps making me somewhat bitter. That’s justified by the ideas that I have every right to despise this place, my oppressors, my demons, my situation, or else risk becoming complacent with the strife, comfortable in a hell hole, down with being downtrodden. NO, that is not an option.
Don’t get it twisted, although I once had the child mentality that most of these grown men still possess. Thank God that the strong women of my family instilled in my head the importance of respect. So actually, I came in ahead of the game. And because I’m not a savage, I’m “weak,” “friendly,” “too nice.”
Yeah, it bothers me. Shouldn’t it? I know I’ve seen more, endured more than most, and survived. My strength and stability aren’t on trial. But I am.
And it’s not only inmates, the guards are just as ignorant and assuming as the “nobodys.” They just baby-sit.
Male guards will try to big chest me because I’m laid back, push me because I’m well mannered, antagonize me because I’m articulate, as if to imply that anyone who can think must be a sissy, that there is something soft about a man who is no longer a criminal and wants to go home, who wants his freedom and is willing to swallow his pride to get it.
Female guards will flirt some, even acknowledge that they find me attractive, but put me in the “good guy” box. What the hell? If you know me, you know my history with women is very um…let’s say “colorful.” At one point in my life, hell, as early as high school, to be with three or four different young ladies in the span of a week was common. I was worse once out of school and more experienced.
Call me cocky, but women have always come easy to me. Not now. I see women make fools of themselves for undercover homosexuals, castouts and rejects, while the “nice guys” wait in the wings. It’s crazy.
Luckily, my understanding of life and people help me to understand that I am just a piece that doesn’t fit into this puzzle. Oh yeah, I committed a crime and I should be punished, I accept that. But I will not pretend to accept this environment of these warped ways of thinking. Instead of becoming insecure and detached, I grow more confident with each passing day. This world is not my home. I’m a king amongst thieves, still stealing the light out each sunrise. This is no place for a ruler and they resent me. So be it.
My self-assurance puts off those who need to be reassured that they are important in a world of bottom feeders. I am of a different breed, temporarily stranded in this desolate valley on my trek to the top.
Success is in my bearing, let alone my mentality. It’s clear now that sacrifices are due, that the cost must be paid forward in blood, sweat, and tears. Before a man can rise to greatness, he must first fall, then his ascending will be that much more spectacular.
One day, men will follow my lead into doing wonderful and beneficial things. My struggles will strengthen me to carry a great many people and my work will bring joy to those it touches.
One day, a woman will proudly take my name, breathe in my love and loyalty, and appreciate my kindness. Other women will envy her, but none will find my favor, for a king shall only have one love queen. They’ll ask “where did she find him?” Some will scoff that I’d been in prison all of my life. No one will admit that I was discarded, forgotten and by the grace of God, came back better than he left.
But isn’t that the whole purpose of locking someone up, taking them from everyone and everything that they love, throwing them into a world of hatred and ugliness that they reemerge improved and ready for society? My mind is free just waiting on the rest.
One day…
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